Sarcasm

The level of sarcasm in my family is eminent. Instead of telling you that you are fat, they'll do stuffs that you yourself can't think of.  My mom will always come up with ridiculous exaggerations. For instance,

1) I gained weight. She'll tell me this," I went to the zoo with your younger siblings just now. How come you're there as well?" *She was referring to the hippos.*

2) I got no money. I called my dad and asked for it. He replies," Is RM3500 enough for you?" As always, I'll definitely say yes. The old man continues," Never mind. Later at night I'll just bring your mom to one of the lorongs." *Well you can figure out yourself what does he mean by that*

3) Yunee, my sister got 23rd place out of 25 in her class for her finals. "I know why you didn't get last. Cos one student cannot read, while the other is probably blind."

4) Mom was frustrated. She called us so many times for dinner, but all of us were busy watching Tv. She stormed in, and said this," I am a maid in the morning! Opens up a laundry shop in the afternoon. A chef in the evening and a prostitute at night!" *everyone went........kru.........kru.........kru..........*

5) I have a Malay girlfriend. Planned to go back home on a weekend so I informed my parents. Dad: "Make sure before you board the bus you go for your Friday prayers okay???" =_______=

6) We are heading out for dinner. Mom complains to Ryan that he is fat. At the same time, she said," Hey, how come your brother is over there?"

*while pointing at this*